Hope
by NomadWidow14
Summary: Natasha Romanoff, a woman that would never believed hope, but after she saw a blonde solider, she realized, hope was true Romanogers fanfiction
1. Prologue

Hope

Hope was the last thing that Natasha's ever thought

Hope was something that never appeared in her life

After what happened in Russia, her childhood was dripping blood, and the blood was in her hands. And she couldn't do to make it better nor to make amends

But, when she saw, the blonde soldier, on that helicarier, something about him, that made her felt something

But, as always, she always threw that thought, hoping it was just a unneccesary thought

When Fury assigned them to work together, it was a stupid idea, she thought

the combination between a russian spy and an american soldier would never compatible

Everything about him was opposite of her, and she tried to make Fury to changed his mind, but it never worked

And the time flies by, she realized, it was actually good to had him as her partner, he always had her back, he always protected her, no matter what happened

and that time, she realized as well, there was a hope in her life.


	2. The Sign of It

It was spring when Natasha and Steve met up at the cemetary when the fake Fury's grave at

But, somehow, Natasha felt very anxious, just to met him, she felt very bad to herself when those helicariers fell down on him

She just felt, she could do more than watching Alexander Pierce said bad things about her past

But, as much as she wanted to complete the mission with him, side by side, he just kept saying no

He said he felt terrible, after she got shot by his bestfriend and saying she should be bed resting

But, as stubborn as she was, she said at least she could do less easier than as it should be

When she arrived at the cemetery, she already felt of someone watching her

And she knew who was the one watching her, she took a very deep breath and got out from her car

Walked toward him, was felt very hard, plus the stare that he gave, the stare that told between worried or relieved

She can say that he was done talking to Fury, and this, is the perfect time to talked to him as gave him the file he had been asked her

 _Get a grip, Romanoff_

And all she can did is, put a small smile on her face and pretending that she didn't felt any nervous at all

"Hi, Nat". From all the words, all he can came up with _hi,_ and Natasha just thought, _typical_

" Hi, Steve. And hi to you too Sam". Natasha tried to make everything seemed to normal and tried to avoid the eye contact he gave her

" Hi, Natasha, how've you been?". You see, it was already like after 3 or 4 weeks after the Potomac tragedy happened and they meet seldomly

" Been good actually", she averted her eyes from Sam and focused at Steve, " So, you doing well? the last i saw you, you were covered up with bruises"

" Yeah, i'm fine Nat, at least that's what i felt" _. Nat,_ the way Steve said her name, kinda make her body felt something, and she let him called her that, beside that there were only 2 people can call her that

" Glad you felt that, because, i'm gonna give you this, a file that you've been asked me"

He took the file and opened it, he can saw the picture of Bucky in cryofreeze, it made him felt terrible and guilty

He took a very deep breath and trying to stay as strong as he can, " thanks, Nat, you don't have to do this"

" No, it's okay, i want to, beside i know you need my help"

No matter how much Natasha wanted to go with him, she knew she can't. Even though, some of her past was already secured by Fury, she afraid some of her enemies can went to Steve

And thinking Steve getting hurt and it was her fault, is the very least thing she could bear

" Of course i need your help. Do you want to come with me? Searching for him? but, if you don't want, it's okay, i'm not gonna push you, he already tried to shot you twice. I don't want you to get hurt"

She could only smile by what Steve had said, but she can't ignore, the way her stomach felt when he said he didn't want her to get hurt

" I really want to go with you, but you know i can't, my past already blown up now, i need to find a new one"

Steve felt bad. 'cause, when he came up with that idea. Idea that SHIELD had to release every files they had to the world, he didn't think about Natasha, " Oh my, i'm sorry Nat, i didn't know, if i--"

" No, it's okay Steve, i think it's about time the world knows about it". She gave him smile and looked directly into those baby blue eyes of him

And Steve did that as well, he looked through the green eyes of her, it was almost like they memorizing each other faces and the seemed pretty enjoyed it

Until, there was a cough came from behind them, " yea, you love birds, just keep staring at each other faces. Just don't get kiss infront of me"

In a second, they quickly snap out of it and came back to reality. _damn you, Sam._ Natasha said to herself

While Steve just gave him a _look_ , and Sam's face was like, _what? am i doing wrong?_

" so, i think this is our goodbye. But, do you still want to ask that nurse to date?". Natasha felt her heart seized and trying to contain the pain inside her

" She's not a nurse, may i remind you"

the way Steve said it, it seemed pretty clear that he was surely interested in her. How could he not? Sharon Carter was the girl that almost everyone wanted

Tall, blonde, gorgeous, had a perfect reputation. And she? She was like a flea compared to her

" And you're not an agent. You should consider that Steve. Was hoping if i'm came back and saw you with a girl"

Steve was about to answer her, but she couldn't take it anymore. The more she talked about Sharon, the more she felt bad to herself

" Anyhow, i need to go now, need to do some unfinished business. See you later, Rogers, and you too Sam"

"about time you notice me, Romanoff"

She turned around and walked toward her car, and still, she can felt the burning feeling as Steve watched her

" yea, about time, Wilson"

She said, as she entered her car.

 ** _so guys, this is my first time write a story in this app, hope you like it and sorry for bad grammar. Enjoy!! :)_**


	3. Age of Chaos

The moment Steve saw Natasha got closer to Bruce, it was the feeling he thought he couldn't felt after being froze for almost 70 years

Jealousy.

He thought, there was something between them, especially, after SHIELD being compromised

The spark between them getting bigger and bigger. He thought he could get what he wanted. _Longing._

Tonight was one of the parties Tony Stark had held, and Steve took a very big decision

He took a risk by talked to Nat. He wanted answers to his questions. And one of them is, did she feels what he felt?

The party started and Steve found himself talking with Sam and the other veteran members

and coincidentally, Sam had asked Steve to get him more beers, and as always Steve couldn't denied it

as he walked toward the bar, he saw Natasha. _his Natasha_ talking to a man, and it seemed Bruce. The way it looked, it seemed that, Natasha just flirted with him

and at that point, he just stopped walking, just stared at them, the way she smiled and continued flirting

he can felt, his heart is crunching, and his stomach just felt sick. He wanted to grabbed Bruce and tell him to stay away from his girl

but that seemed very unrealistic. He could'nt do that, 'cause Bruce is his friend, one of his team mates, and he couldn't jeopardize what he and Bruce had

Suddenlly, he felt someone tapped on his right shoulder, "everything's alright?"

Steve turned around and letting go his breath that he had been held

"yeah, everything seems fine". He couldn't averted his gaze toward Natasha's and tried his best to keep his eyes at Sam's. but it didn't end nicely

"you can't keep lying to me, Cap. I know what you saw, and hopefully, i know what you feel"

He let out a deep sigh, " you don't know what i feel, especially after that"

he said as he tilted his head to where Nat and Bruce were

"you got to tell her how you feel, everyone knows that she'll not be happy with a man like him"

"Sam"

Steve tried to warned Sam. After all, it's not Bruce's fault if he was already fell to her spider web and the best he could do, was not saying bad things to his friend

"what? you know what i said was right, i saw the way she looked at you, back when you guys came to my house. And i felt very bad to interrupted your conversation, if i hadn't came, i bet you and her already sucking each other faces"

He hoped everything Sam had just said, were true. He turned around and saw Natasha slowly left the bar

And, he thought, this was the perfect time to gave Bruce the advice of a broken hearted man

Sam looked at him as if he already knew what was he going to do and quickly stopped him

"no, you can't be serious, you just can't do that"

"what? i'm not going to do anything"

"i know what you gonna do"

Sam gave him a look, "what you supposed to do is, ran to her and told her, how you felt all these years"

"Sam, you know i already lost my chance with her, this is the least i can do to make her happy, she desreves this"

He completly aware how his heart ached, but as long as Natasha is happy, he is happy too

Without any words, he walked toward the bar and taking two beers and said,

" it's nice, you and romanoff"

He even couldn't said her first name

"oh, no. it's not like that between us"

" well, it's kinda obvious between two of you, all i'm just saying is, just go with it, at least when you have the chance"

He gave him a smile, but he knew that smile never reached to his eyes

He gave one of the beers to Sam and took the other one to himself and headed up to the roof

Where he can realized, how hard it was to be a good man


	4. The Bittersweet Feelings

After the conversation between her and Bruce, something didn't seem right

She can felt the weird feeling in her stomach, _what did i do?_

And now, she looked the horizon infront of her. She can felt the cold breeze touched her skin

The flashback of her and Steve back in 3 years ago suddenly flodded in her mind, she closed her eyes harsly, trying to erase those memories out of her mind

She can clearly felt what she had felt for him, the stared he had given her, it was _comforting_

And when she opened her eyes, her green eyes met _his_

He got up to the roof and still trying to forget what was just happened between Natasha and Bruce

With a beer in his hand, he opened the door and stepped out

what he found, was something beyond imaginable

It was Natasha, sat on the edge of the tower, and it seemed she was closing her eyes and tried to removed what ever that caused her to close her eyes and tilted her head harsly

His natural instinct struck in and without thinking straight, he marched toward her

" Nat, you okay? "

even he was a bit mad with her, he can't keep his hands to take care of her, to concern about her

she raised her head quickly and startled a bit, he wanted to said sorry first, but he got cut in

"yeah, yeah, i'm totally fine. What are you doing up here? you should be enjoying the party while it lasts, getting a conversation with a girl"

She tried to lightened up the mood, he can tell

"well, i was'nt find myself in the party, so i thought, i could take a breath for a moment. What about you? what are you doing up here?"

The conversation between them was more and more awkward, he didn't know who was the one caused it, was it him? or she?

Usually, the conversation between was more fun and full of jokes, but now, it seemed more like acquaintance that hadn't seen each other in such a long time

"well, just bored i guess, or rather confused"

He didn't get what she meant and so, he just nodded

"can i join you? if you don't want to be interrupted"

"sure, not minding it at all"

And so, both of them just stared at New York city which was below them, and soon there was only silence between them

She broke the silence between them and said,

"you know, i've been thinking about this for such a long time, and i need your opinion about it"

He can felt his heart beating so fast and part of him felt, she was going to asked about their relationship

But, that seemed impossible when she dropped the bomb

"you know the thing between me and Bruce right? it's like something between us but it doesn't clear enough to see"

 _Don't say the word. please. don't say it. not to me. not this night_

"and i think i need to clear it, don't you think? opportunity like this doesn't always come to me, and to be honest i've been longing for this"

 _There. she says it. she doesn't want to be with you. you've lost chance yet again._

He felt numb. his heart broke in pieces, before he arrived in this party, he needed answers for the questions between them and now it already answered

 _Do you realise what are you saying? he couldn't make you happy. he hurt you before. please come back to me. i'll try to make you happy, and to protect you. he doesn't deserve you. i've lost someone before and i can't lose you too. come back to me._

He wanted to tell her those words in his head, but he afraid she rejected him and denial was more painful than this

"yeah, i-uh- guess, you both deserve a win, and i really support you and give you my-uh-consent, as a captain"

He let out a deep breath and decided he couldn't take it anymore and needed to go far away from here. _from her._

"well, it's a little bit cold up here and i think, i'm just gonna get inside and i suggest you too. good night"

he gave her smile and noticed it didn't catch her eyes, he quickly turned around and speed up his steps

she called his name and tried as best as he could to not to turned around

He got inside and quickly head up to the elevator and felt someone tapped on his shoulder

"you okay cap?" it was Clint

"yeah, i'm okay, i just need a little time alone"

the elevator showed up and he excused himself

Clint found it very weird, it wasn't like Steve, not at all

and he thought, he already found Steve's problem as his eyes met Natasha's


	5. Cold Weather

"what did you do?"

Clint said to Natasha as he saw Natasha's hair messy and it seemed she had run

"i didn't do anything"

Natasha was still trying to catch her breath and she didn't expect Clint was there

"seriously, Nat, you know you can't lie to me, don't you?"

yes, of course, Hawkeye never missed anyone, including the Black Widow

Natasha let out a deep breath and trying to get a grip, she was so stupid to ask Steve those questions, when she didn't even know what she truly felt

she didn't want him, but at the same time, she wanted him badly, and that caused her head didn't think straight

and she knew, she can't talk about this to Clint, and she couldn't talk about it right now

"nothing, seriously, i'm just gonna head up to my room, see you tomorrow, Barton"

Natasha quickly got inside the elevator and headed up to her room

and after Natasha got in, he smirked

when Ultron invaded the Main Room, the Avengers quickly fought him and ended up with Ultron ran away

but, in the middle of the fight, Bruce was accidentally fell to Natasha and ended up his face on her breasts

she didn't know she was supposed to be mad or just forget about it, but from the corner of her eyes, she can tell Steve saw it

 _shit, what would Steve think of me after this, what a slut you are, Natasha_

The Bartons' house was nice, Steve didn't expect to see Clint already married and he felt stupid, because he once felt jealous Natasha and Clint were close

when they got inside, his heart clenched, and soon he realized this what he had missed seventy years ago, and a part of him longing for this, a wife to come home to, one or two kids or maybe a dog or two

but, all that seemed just full of bull. So his eyes looking around, until they fell on Natasha, it looked like she was giving Bruce a code that told this was she wanted and Bruce seemed didn't understand,

 _how can he understand? he's a hulk after all_

Steve couldn't take it anymore, with the images of Peggy running through his head, he quickly said sorry to Mrs. Barton for the inconvenience and excused himself. He turned around and walked toward the field and taking the air as much as he could

the look in his eyes when he excused himself, was the one probably she would never forget, he looked so lost, _lonely_

she wanted to go after him and talk to him, but that seemed unfair to him, after she treated him when he asked her if she was okay after the girl put bad memories to them

and yet, she ignored him and kept silent, she could see the hurt on his face, but it was better that way

Laura told them to go to the guest room and clean themselves for a bit, she quickly grabbed Bruce's arms and went straight to the room, she could felt Laura staring at them, she could deal with Laura later

the conversation between her and Bruce in that room was a total mess, she didn't know what's gotten into her, she told him the deepest, darkest secrets she had

and it felt unfair to Steve, because Steve was her friend more longer than Bruce, but what's done is done

Night came to the farm, they had dinner and turned out Nick was there too, she offered to wash the dishes and when she was about to done, she could hear Thor asked Steve when he would go to bed and she heared Steve said he was going to get some air first. And now, might be the good time to talk to him

he can't forget how beautiful Peggy in that vision, and he miss her terribly, he convinced himself he didn't need to hang on to the past, but how could he? the past was the place where he can felt to be himself

he looked down to the grass. The air, the sky, the farm, the stars, all of them were perfect that night, it was so sad, he got no one to share

apparently, he was wrong, he can felt a presence behind him, he thought it was probably Clint or Thor, but it was a small figure and had red hair

"you should put on your jacket with this cold air"

she said as she walked to him, he was grateful to know that she cared about his wellbeing

"i like the cold"

he kept his eyes to the grass for about 3 seconds more, and it was enough time to get himself ready to stare at her face

he looked to the farm now, with flat face, he hoped she couldn't read his face

"i know it seems unfair to you, but you shouldn't keep it to yourself, you can tell me you know"

he let out a deep breath, he knew she was going to ask him about his vision that the girl made, and he wanted to tell her so badly, but he felt like it wasn't right for her

she had her own problems, he couldn't bear to add them more

"i know, i think it's better for me to keep it to myself, like you did"

she grimaced at his words, hurt even

"i didn't keep to myself"

she tried to play dumb, hoping he wouldn't ask more

"oh yeah, i forgot, you told Bruce, didn't you? it's good to know you have someone to talk to"

he said it in very low voice, like a broken man talked, he even grimaced at his own words, if she didn't talk to him the next day, he wouldn't surprise

"Steve, just talk to me, please, it'll feel better"

he gave her sad smile and finally look at her face

"i asked you twice when we were headed here, and you ignored me, i think it's a little bit unfair if i tell you and you're not telling me"

"i can't let you see what i saw, it was horrible than anything in this world you have seen, so i told someone who feels the same as me"

 _a monster_ , that words appeared in his head, he once heard Natasha talked to Bruce and said a thing about monsters, and now he knew what they meant

"you're not that person, Natasha"

he looked up to the sky and saw a star fell, it was almost like a wishing star, and that moment, he closed his eyes and wishing,

 _God, please, give me strength to deal all of my probelms, including my own heart_

he opened his eyes, and said, "you should get inside, it's cold out here

he turned around and headed to the house

and that was the first time he left a girl behind, especially, in cold weather

 _hi everyone, to be honest, this chapter was inspired from a story that called "splinters", maybe some of you know about it, so please don't judge me, and credit for whoever that made the story, sorry for late update and bad grammar_

 _thanks, a lot of love from me :)_


	6. TheThingBetweenThem

After hours, they found Ultron in Korea, trying to make a thing with mind stone

Steve had ordered Clint and Natasha to retrieve the pod, but when he heard Clint said he couldn't see Natasha, his heart started to beat quickly, even when he fought with Ultron

Steve knew he had to make a quick decision, either saved Natasha or gave the pod to Stark, damn, it was the hardest decision ever, so he ordered Clint to give the pod to Stark as quickly as he could

when they were talking about Natasha, Steve had restrained himself from getting a helicarrier and find Natasha himself, but he couldn't do that, especially he was not the one she was hoped to meet

so he told to the team how to end this thing, between them and Ultron and sent Bruce to save Natasha. A part of him didn't trust him to save her, but at least she got more protected, because she had hulk beside her

the battle had over, they won, Ultron was defeated, but, the fast boy died and Steve knew how sad his sister would be. And he somehow managed to know that Bruce had left and Steve knew how much it would hurt Natasha

he found her staring at a wall, he knew she must be thinking about Bruce, he didn't understand why Bruce did this to Natasha, but as always no one knows what's inside the Hulk's mind

"well, that seems pretty interesting wall to stare at"

Steve was trying to lighten up the mood and tried his best to get a grip to himself

Natasha turned around and he saw a smile on her face, _a fake smile_

it hurt to know that smile was fake, but at least she still wanted to talk to him

"i guess so"

ever since they talked that night, at the Bartons', something changed inside her, and yet she didn't know what it was

Steve walked toward the bench and sat on it, after that Natasha followed Steve. After she sat down, he could see the sadness look in her eyes, he felt terrible, if only he could ease the pain

"you want to talk about it? a friend once told me it's not great to keep it by yourself"

"i know, just need a little time alone"

as much as Steve tried to ease the pain and talked to her, she was still pushing him away, as if he was done something wrong to her

he wanted to ask her, what was the real reason not to talk to him, is it because the Bruce thing? or she just don't want to?

he didn't have courage to ask that, instead he diverted the converse

"well, if you feel better, you can go downstairs, there's a team to train remember? and i brought you this, so you can read about their expertise"

he gave her the tab, stood up and left the room, leaving Natasha behind, and she was still staring at the tab on her hand

she turned it on, and there was Avengers symbol showed up, she stared at it

The Avengers was the only family she had, it was the one who made her a better person, through this initiative she could make amends about her past

and so, she took a deep breath, stood up and headed to training room, she opened the door and saw Steve's broad shoulders before he turned around and gave her his boyish smile, it was like he knew she would be here

"Avengers"

Steve's voice echoed throughout the room, he gave her his smirk and let her finish the sentence

"Assemble"


End file.
